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visited *loading* times
buy me love
money. that’s what i want.
money money money.
money honey.
money would solve all the problems, pay the bills, take care of everyone i love, fix everything. money could do it all. just money. makes the world go round, right? not the root of all evil, no no no. money pays for broken down cars. phone bills. utilities. money pays for the mortgage. money money money pays for the medical tests.
oh the material. the necessity of it. the grimey gritty dirty truth of it all. oh when it all boils down to money you know you’ve hit the bottom. the ground. the dirt.
oh it’s just an energy exchange.
an exchange of energy.
money.
greed.
desire.
control.
power.
money. yeah money.
dollars and dollars and heck don’t even bother with those cents can’t even buy bubble gum. not the good kind anyway. no.
oh what do you do what do you do what do you do when people ask you for money?
well i tend to give it if i’ve got it. but not everything. oh no. still looking out for that nebulous future. for which there will need to be money.
i like to give it, i do. just do. spare a dollar? ok. public radio needs my support? you bet. borrow a quarter? got you covered. spare change? have a whole buck my friend.
when i worked as a waitress it was cash that day. walk in off the street broke, walk out with a pocket full of that cold hard or perhaps rather warm and crinkly jingly wonderful money. got to be flush baby. got to pay the bills. buy the food. turn the lights on.
and this material. this stuff. this junk. this crap. all this garbage. all this packaging. the trash that fills the bin in my kitchen you know. all bought with money.
can ruin a marriage. ruin a friendship. ruin a life.
and so we save we clip those coupons clip those coupons we shop the sales we buy the gas at the tiny cigarette store we get the jumbo size pizza for leftovers we wait for the video we wait we wait for the video oh yes we do and we listen to the radio even though the rockies are in the playoffs and we turn down the heater and we put on a sweater and we freeze the leftovers and we save the bags and the boxes and the wrapping paper we are frugal we are careful we put a little extra on the mortgage and we put the rest into savings and we shop for the cheaper car parts and we got rid of the long distance on the phone and we fix the cracks in the plaster and we mow the lawn and we worry about the tree limbs and we fix the fence and rotate the tires and buy the cheapest detergent and the giant packs of paper towels and the big gallon size shampoo and giant unliftable bags of discount store cat litter.
and this is not to say that we don’t have our frills our farmer’s market extravaganzas our little trips our southwest exploratory missions and we get takeout chinese food and we get the good goat cheese and the seven not five or six but seven sprouting grain bread and and and CDs and DVDs and books and books and books and some computer parts and new cell phones and earrings sometimes yeah earrings it’s an addiction really and and and you know we have stuff. oh yeah there is stuff.
but what happens oh what happens oh what is the thing about it what happens when someone asks for money?
just get us through the rough spot see it’s only a loan it will all come right back to you it will all be ok just got into a bad spot just need to get over this bad patch well of course of course of course we can lend it to you of course you know we’ve got it in savings but today is columbus day and the bank’s are closed and it’s going to take a couple days and that’s ok that’s ok it will all be ok of course of course of course don’t worry don’t worry please don’t stress please don’t freak oh i can’t see you cry i don’t want you to feel bad it must be so hard to ask it’s ok it’s ok it’s ok it’s only money only money it’s only money.
only.
money.
only.
hard work. scrimping and saving and worrying and working and working and doing without and squirreling it away for that uncertain future that time the tree limb breaks off and drops through the roof the time that the tire blows that the battery dies that the job is down-sized and the vet bills pile up and the breeze is coming through the big cracks in the wall and the fridge goes on the blink and the drains need snaking because the roots have grown into the old pipes and the porch crumbles and the banister falls off and and and and and it’s only money.
security. savings. safety.
it’s all we’ve got. it’s everything we’ve got. it’s all we have. it’s what we use. it’s what we’ve got to have. it’s what it is.
but people are starving people are dying blood on the goods slave labor and the earth is crumbling and ice caps melt oh the waste the waste the profit is made from waste and the greed the greed the greed makes everything bleed the greed squeezes and the greed burns and the greed needs it needs it needs it hordes and grabs and takes and keeps it keeps the greed keeps the greed is never satiated the little children will not have health care and the tax cuts for the wealthy and greed is so all consuming the greed is consuming the greed is desire is death destruction war is about greed and ownership greed and lust and power greed for power greed is lust is desire greed is all about the money.
and so how tightly do we grip it, exactly?
what is realistic what is help what is charity what is necessary what is real what is bread and what is cake and what will really take care of things what is really what the matter is what is really what this is all about?
we grow our own tomatoes but tonight they will freeze. we waited as long as we could but we had to light the stove when the old cat got the sniffles. we got new tires but the car is out of alignment. those shoes were new but they just didn’t last and we put a new floor in the bathroom but the leak is still destroying the wall.
yeah you bought a new house while we lived without plumbing and you bought a new sports car and we drove an old leaky truck and you like to eat out and i make a lot of soup but we don’t understand how you got into this situation wow that’s pretty cool is that a new palm pilot and and we’re trying not to judge and we love you of course we’re friends and and we don’t want anything bad to happen to you and it’s important i’m sure and yeah you can say it’s a loan you can it’s ok everything is going to be ok everything will all be ok and so sure you can have it. you can have what we’ve got. don’t cry please don’t cry you can borrow whatever you need. heck we’ll just give it to you. really. of course you can have it. why not?
it’s only money.
